A thought recently came to mind that I ended up tweeting. It is this: “There’s a fine line between downplaying mistakes you’ve made as a parent and trusting in God’s grace to overcome them.”
Interestingly enough, the next day I happened to have a conversation with a couple of other moms about mommy guilt. The kind that forms from messing up or feeling in a moment that despite loving your child, it is awfully difficult to like that child.
Then we got into the topic of “what makes a good mom.” Is it only when your kids turn out okay? It’s kind of funny how you will sometimes hear, “You must have done something right” when a child has excelled or is faring well in life. That leaves you to wonder if somehow you have managed to mess up the other ones.
The bottom line is that in that moment, we three moms suddenly didn’t feel so alone. Despite being in a church setting, we could freely admit that we’ve made mistakes and we didn’t beat each other up. Don’t we do that enough with ourselves that we don’t need others to add to the punches?
But going back to my original thought…I try to not dwell on my mistakes too much. Sometimes I even refuse to take credit for things going wrong.
Not because I haven’t contributed or sometimes been the outright cause. But I’ve learned that it doesn’t really get me moving forward.
At the same time, I don’t want to downplay or dismiss the mistakes. There has to be some ownership, right? And there are certainly lessons to be learned.
So how do you balance all of that with trusting in God’s grace? That despite mistakes made, His grace is greater?
To me, there seems to be a fine line. Feeling like I’m towing it lately.
© 2012, Stephanie Romero