Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)
One of the worse things for a parent is to feel alone. Alone in their struggles. Alone in their confusion. Alone in their uncertainty. Alone in their pain.
Whether you’re a new mom trying to cope with a colicky baby, a child with special needs, dealing with a strong-willed son or daughter, have a houseful of kids under the age of six or a rebellious teenager—it always helps to know a mom who has walked that path. It has been a lifeline for me as a military mom, to surround myself with others who understand my fears, the pain experienced by that child’s absence and never knowing when you’ll see him/her again. It’s also been a tremendous help as I walk this journey of not only having a pregnant teenager but dealing with her as a prodigal.
The truth is that we all fall at some point of being a parent. Whether it happens while a child is still at home or long after they’re grown and out on their own, we face moments when we’re knocked to the ground. To have someone come alongside and help lift us up can make all the difference.
I used to be the type of mom that preferred to do things on my own. Although I convinced myself it was only because of my strength as a person, the truth is that it was pride. I was too prideful to admit my needs. I was too prideful to face the possibility that I was wrong about something. I was too prideful to accept that someone else might know better and could offer a different way. What a tremendous weight I carried…and how relieved it felt when I finally learned to share my burdens.
One of the reasons (er, let’s call what it is really is–EXCUSES) moms often use is that no one is willing to come alongside them. They are waiting for someone to invite herself into their world instead of extending an invitation. Most of the time we need to reach out and ask for help. That’s oftentimes a huge step in breaking down the wall of pride.
It could be a small group or an individual that relates to your struggles. Be willing to embrace whatever form it may come in, as you never know how God will use a person or persons. As an example, when my son first joined the military I found a Facebook group for Air Force moms. Through this I connected to four moms that I met in person and have since maintained contact with on a daily basis. We have our own Facebook message thread in which we keep in touch every single day. Later this month we are meeting up again. I can’t express enough how much it has helped to get me through this journey of being a military mom.
For some it’s a risk to put yourself out there. It may be difficult to embrace the vulnerability that comes with sharing. In the end, the numbers just make sense…two are better than one.
© 2014, Stephanie Romero