This has been a year of change for my family. It started off with the loss of my dad, the birth of my granddaughter and then continued to include a new health diagnosis, job scare, marital struggles, the loss of two pets and now I’m facing the day my daughter (who recently became engaged) and granddaughter leaves our home.
Some of these changes have been devastating. Others have been good but nonetheless, required a great deal of adjustment and at times, hope in the unseen. Most have turned out well—there’s improvement with my health condition, my marriage has turned a corner and I have a new job that I absolutely love. There are still some issues I’m working through, mainly the grieving process. But all in all, I’m managing and I take absolutely no credit for that. Only God.
Still…there is a lot of emotion in knowing your only daughter has become engaged. And that she will be taking the next step and leaving the nest. It’s a good thing. But it doesn’t make it any easier to digest. Having one already leave the nest, I know the pain and emptiness you feel in the beginning. It does get easier. So I hold onto that. At the same time, I’m hit with a double whammy in that I will also see my granddaughter leave. However, I know this will be good for her and she’ll finally have some stability.
Recently I was watching some old home videos, when my children were very young. If anyone would have told me back then what this journey of motherhood would be like, I don’t know that I would have signed up. I say that jokingly—sort of. I guess what I’ve come to discover is that nothing can ever really prepare you for the sometimes oh-so-difficult trek.
The difficulties that stem from struggles and trials. Even the difficulties that stem from good things but require adjustment or change. The emotional ups and downs. The mental exhaustion. The physical depletion. The worrying…the sleepless nights…the regrets…the victories…the blessings…the love.
Motherhood is a very complex life experience. You never know what’s waiting for you around the corner. Just one doctor visit can change a family’s dynamics. One decision made by a child can alter the future. One word can break a heart. One choice can devastate a relationship.
But there is a flipside to this. One doctor visit can draw a family closer together. One decision can see a miraculous outcome. One word can mend a hurt. One choice can restore a relationship.
I believe the good outweighs the bad of parenting. I believe that hope outweighs doubt. I know that God can move in any situation…even when it looks impossible. Change will come. Most of the time we can’t do anything about it. But what we can do is learn more and more how to put our faith not in our abilities as a parent…but in the One who gives us everything we need to parent.
© 2015, Stephanie Romero