Nothing in this world has brought me greater joy than being your mom. It hasn’t always been easy but I wouldn’t trade any of it for even one second of being motherless.
Yet I know I haven’t always done it right. I’ve probably messed you up in some ways. Maybe my fluctuating moods caused too much confusion. Or you felt that at times I was impossible to please. I know I’ve raised my voice more than necessary. And I’ve probably said some unkind things.
I wonder if I was too strict about some things and not strict enough about other things. I’m certain that I wasn’t always a good example. And I probably changed the rules from one child to another. That wasn’t fair.
I’ve tried my best. I fell far short of perfection. Hopefully you never felt that I expected perfection from you. My goal was to have a healthy balance between discipline and grace. I’m sure one side weighed more heavily at times.
You’ll never know the insecurities I felt as a mom. The times I questioned my decisions. And the moments I wish I could take back.
Despite these (and other unnamed insecurities), may you know without question that my love for you is unbreakable, unsinkable and indestructible. And regardless of my many shortcomings, I can only hope that somehow you still felt my love even when I was angry. That you sometimes saw Jesus in me. That you felt my prayers. And that I somehow lessened your hurts when I wrapped my arms around you.
© 2015, Stephanie Romero